“But it’s always easier to speak when I really know my stuff – and actually believe in it.”
Absolutely. And it’s true.
When we’re genuinely behind what we’re saying, it shows. How we speak, from our tone of voice, our body language, our words – they all line up. But what happens when you have to speak about something you don’t believe in?
Because as leaders, that moment comes more often than we’d like. A decision’s been made. A change is happening. A message needs delivering. But you’re not convinced. And yet… you’re the one that has to get others on board.
Totally understand.
Back when I was working as a barrister, particularly in family law, I often had to speak on behalf of clients I didn’t like – or believe. Or both.
The things I would have to voice in court were difficult. Sometimes I’d genuinely think my client was lying. That they had hit their partner, despite saying otherwise. That they had shaken the baby, even though they swore they hadn’t.
But my job wasn’t to agree with them. It was to present their version of events, clearly and compellingly, backed up by the evidence.
I had to speak like I meant it. And yes – it’s hard.
But here’s the thing…
Whether you’re in a courtroom, a boardroom, or standing in front of your team – if you want to be effective, if you want your message to land, you need to speak with conviction.
Even if the content feels uncomfortable.
Even if your heart’s not really in it.
Even if you’re still figuring out how you feel about it.
Because your people will pick up on that hesitation. And then the message doesn’t land. Or worse still, it starts to affect trust.
So what can you do?
How to speak with conviction (when it doesn’t come naturally)
Here are three things that helped me in the courtroom and still help me now:
1. Start with what is true for you
You might not agree with the whole message, but are there parts you can genuinely get behind? Start there. Lean into that. It’ll give you something real to build your energy around.
2. Reframe what you can
Sometimes, it’s not the message itself, but how we’re looking at it. Can you shift the perspective? Focus on what’s being made possible, not just what’s being lost? Small shifts in framing can make a huge difference.
3. Call it out
If you’re delivering something you know will be hard to take – don’t pretend otherwise. Be upfront. Let people know it’s not an easy message. That you’ve had to wrestle with that too. When you acknowledge it, you earn trust. And now, you’ve got a chance to bring them with you.
Because even when it feels difficult, powerful speaking is always possible. And when you find a way to deliver with clarity and care – that’s when change happens.
You create the space for others to actually hear you.
So now you have an opportunity to persuade them.
Want your team to get better at this kind of speaking?
Jo delivers practical, energising sessions that help people speak with more clarity, confidence and conviction – even in the trickiest of situations.
Get in touch using the form below – or drop Jo a line at contactme@jodarby.co.uk or message via LinkedIn.